After coming back from a trip to Los Angeles in the autumn of 2008, my friend asked me, "where are you going next?". I could not actually answer.
As a video-game lover since childhood, I always want to visit Japan. Therefore I went to Tokyo, wandering around Nagano Broadway fulled of second-hand games, and didn't want to come back. As a movie lover since high school, I always want to step on the pavements of Hollywood Boulevard. Therefore I went to Los Angeles, enjoying myself between Chinese Theater, Sunset Boulevard and Larry Edmond's Bookstore, envying those kids who were so close to the movies in Universal Studio, from the bottom of my heart.
Suddenly, after coming back from Los Angeles, I realized that I had done all those places that I dreamed to visit for those years, just those two. The thought of "I want to have a look there" was never too strong, though still it's eventually done without much notice. The feeling of unreality and hollow confirmed me again that those two things were what I was looking forward to, for a very long time. Now I have no place to yearn for.
"Where are you going next?"
After coming back from Los Angeles, my friend asked me, sometimes I asked myself as well.
I could visit again those places, maybe arranging a theme-based trip, such as visiting Shirakawa and Kinugawa (from the game Tengai Makyo II: Manjimaru); or visiting Haruna, Myogi, Akagi, Usuitoge, Iroha and other famous racing courses in the animation Initial D. But I think it won't be as satisfying as the first time stepping on what I had dreamed of for a long time. Though I just walked around a very small part of Tokyo, that looking forward in my mind was still completed satisfyingly.
"Where are you going next?"
"Do I want to go to somewhere else?"
I could go to US to have a MLB game. I could take the train to Tibetan highlands. I could go to Rwanda and Ethiopia to see if they are as what legends said or not. I could be going, and could be not going as well. The painting-like Scandinavia, starving India, mysterious Easter Island, ice-covered Russia, they look like beautiful postcards, so attractive. But It's still so far to say that I really want to go there.
"Where am I going next?"
That's the first question. Since then, I used to watch the lines that was drawn by plans in the sky, and think about this.
＊＊＊
I'd achieved my setting goals and time for my first job, so I decided to leave. But I didn't know exactly what I'm going to do next.
I was lucky, comparing to many people, that my first job offered me a good working place and nice colleagues, doing what I like to do. Honestly there was nothing bad in my first job. It's just not making me want to stay forever. Years of forging had widened my views, made me see deeper of problems, and understood so many helplessness. I had more and more questions about the future. Now I still want to solve some problems or do something helpful to the problems. This is what my job means to me. But I don't have answers for what kind of role I should play, what I should care and what I should let go.
"What am I going to do next?"
That's the second question. It makes me have to stop and think about it carefully.
＊＊＊
Looking around. I got some money and soon I would have some time. My parents are healthy. I am still good enough for leaving hometown for a while and taking some adventures. Thus, all of a sudden, those two questions pointed me one direction, which I'd dreamed about but never taken seriously. I almost stepped forward to it without any consideration. Long before the visa, money, illness, safety and other problems coming toward me, there was a voice keeping telling me: If you don't do it now, you won't have any other chances in your life.
So I stepped on this path to the world. That was the early spring of 2009, 9 months to my 30s.
I used to put this on my mouth and mind, now I got a chance to realize it. If you cannot really understand what's going on above, like me, this is easier:
"Why do you want to travel around the world?"
"It's not easy to be born in this world, I want to see more of it before I die."
2009/12/28 Kaohsiung.
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